Episode 74: Peak Sadness

Welcome back! On this episode, Grace and Alvina discuss an article about peak sadness, and talk about when their saddest and happiest moments and periods of their lives have been so far. The article caught Grace’s attention because with all the events in the world, it seems like we have all the ingredients for misery and/or peak sadness! (Global pandemic, economic depression, loss of connection, racism in the world, a terrible POTUS, etc…). It’s an interesting time to check-in about happiness, sadness, and misery. But first as usual…

“How have you been?”

Grace and Alvina catch up on each other’s lives. Grace has been busy as usual. (she’s pretty sure she mentions that she’s busy every single episode!) Lately, the busy work has been particularly annoying because she’s dealing with some tech issues and things that she’s not really excited about. She’s been making videos to promote her Story Telling Math board books that come out in October by Charles Bridge Publishing!

Look for the Storytelling board books in October 2020!

The craft camp that she organized for her daughter and their pod of friends is still going strong. They recently painted flower tops to look like garden gnomes! It’s only a few hours in the morning but it’s tiring and HOT! Thank goodness for fans outside, sprinklers, and kiddie pools!

Alvina had two big events occur recently in her pandemic world:

#: She got a haircut! It was a home visit appointment! It made her feel like herself again.

#2: She went to a restaurant to OUTDOOR dine for the first time. It was just a little resemblance of normalcy. If it’s not too crowded, she feels good about it. They talked about how masks are the new normal just like it already was the norm in many Asian countries.

Peak Sadness

In the article that Grace came across regarding peak sadness, it states that the middle-aged misery peaks around age 47. According to the economist who wrote it, 47.2 years old is the moment of peak unhappiness in the developed world. Alvina asks, “So Grace, why did this article peak your interest?” She was thinking about their birthdays and according to this theory, then basically they’re getting sadder and sadder and approaching rock bottom at 47. Then it goes up!

Grace feels like perhaps the article was geared to the more “cliche normal” person who rushes into settling down, gets married, has kids, and works at the same job their whole life. She thinks that it may be understandable why that kind of lifestyle would create some kind of “so this is it?” depressive mentality. However, she doesn’t believe she falls into that category as she is still really passionate about her job. Her life is not structured in such a way to feel “stuck”. Alvina feels the same way because she didn’t have any children and she also loves what she does for a living. Grace and Alvina mention both having to deal with their late- husband’s sickness and deaths. Those were times of intense sadness but not necessarily the peak as there are so many ups and down throughout their life. Alvina reminds us that with age comes wisdom. “I’ve had all of these mini-relationships. When they end, I kinda shrug, it doesn’t hurt me as much. The first heartbreak is the HARDEST. Then you look back and go UGH, why was I so sad about that?”

Alvina says, “Men experience mid-life crisis in their 40’s 50’s. My dad had midlife crisis at 50. He lived a whole other lifetime since then. He was an engineer and then became an financial advisor. I think a lot of people climb the corporate ladder and then they think it’s too late to start over and maybe feel stuck.”

Peak Happiness

For some reason, peak happiness is much harder to pinpoint. For Grace it was when she wrote A Big Mooncake for Little Star and it won an award. It wasn’t so much the winning the award of course, but the happiness she had while writing and completing the book too. Writing When the Sea Turned to Silver was much more forced and difficult when she was a young mom and it just didn’t feel great to rush it. A Big Mooncake for Little Star felt so much more natural because she was a Mom that was able to include her family in the creation of the book.

Alvina says that in her 20’s and 30’s it felt like every year was her best year. It stopped when Greg got sick. Her peak happiness was right before that when they met, moved in together, and got married. Now she feels like she is on the rise again. She thinks perhaps it’s just because she is more at peace with things and where she is in life.  

 The book friends then talked about “peak misery” and how that is different from peak sadness. Grace mentions her postpartum time as being peak misery for her. The key components of misery being disconnection and a feeling of helplessness. That is much like the beginning of the pandemic. Alvina talks about that time she moved to Taiwan as being peak misery for her. It was the loneliest she ever felt in her life. A significant relationship she was in for many years was the other time that made it under the peak misery list.

“What are you grateful for?”

Alvina is so grateful that her father is on the mend and feeling much better. She is generally so grateful for the good health of her friends and family.

Grace is grateful for Charles Bridge Publishing for the board books opportunity. She is grateful for the side projects that she’s been able to do like creating a calendar for the Where The Mountain Meets the Moon Trilogy!

2-Minute Book Review with Alison Morris:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Aretha Franklin, The Queen of Soul. by Carole Boston Weatherford and illustrated by Frank Morrison.

“This book is a lyrical, visual feast that will make music lovers so happy!”

Alison Morris is a nationally recognized children's book buyer with an infectious enthusiasm for reading and 20 years' experience matching books to readers. As the Senior Director of Title Selection for nonprofit First Book, she oversees the curation of children’s and young adult books on the First Book Marketplace, hand-selecting a diverse range of titles that speak to and address the needs of kids in underserved communities, with a keen eye to inclusion, authenticity, and kid-appeal. She previously served as Senior Editor at Scholastic Book Clubs, Children's Book Buyer for Wellesley Booksmith and The Dartmouth Bookstore, and was the founding blogger of the ShelfTalker children’s book blog for Publishers Weekly. She'll be joining us from her home near Washington, DC where she spends LOTS of time discussing books with her husband, illustrator and graphic novelist Gareth Hinds.